wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
