at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Randomize
