i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
