how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize