I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
