Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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