I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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