This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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