I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize