why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
