absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize