I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
