I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
