you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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