Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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