this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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