I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
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