its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
