And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
