she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
