gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm always down for nudity.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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