So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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