in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
