What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
