Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
