I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
