Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize