oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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