I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
