I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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