in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
