I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
