Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
