You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize