Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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