I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize