apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
