So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize