He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
