like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
