Having a random hookup so left but love u
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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