but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize