he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
