You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
