This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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