I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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