My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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