garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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