whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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