i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
