now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
