I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
this hospital has no fireball
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
