I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Randomize
