I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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