Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My vagina is officially offended.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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