one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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