OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
