guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
