their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
